Doctor at Large by Richard Gordon

Author:Richard Gordon
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Doctor at Large
Publisher: House of Stratus
Published: 2012-12-27T05:00:00+00:00

12

During my month in the practice I gained six pounds in weight, took on a deep sunburn, and learned more practical physic from Farquharson than I had gained from the whole staff of St Swithin’s. The remaining gaps in my education were completed by the village constable, who was the fattest policeman outside pantomime, and seemed to have the single duty of supervising the nightly closing of the Four Horseshoes from the inside. After a pint or two he would unbutton his tunic and solemnly recount the medico-legal history of the countryside. ‘It was but a year ago, as I recall,’ he would begin with the air of a surgeon discussing a grave case with a colleague, ‘that we had an indecency down at Smith’s farm.’ He frowned as he took some more beer. ‘I can’t remember offhand whether it was a gross indecency, or just an ordinary one. But you’d be surprised what goes on round ’ere, Doctor. Why, we gets at least an indecent exposure once a week.’ He continued to describe some of his recent cases in the odd anatomical terms used only by the police force. ‘Mind you, it’s hard work, Doctor,’ he added proudly. ‘You’ve got to be sure of your facts. It was only at the last Assizes there was an ’ell of a row because we had a case concerning a mare, and the barrister got hold of the idea it was one with a gold chain round his neck what we meant.’

A few days before I was due to leave, Grimsdyke paid a visit.

It was clear at once that he had enjoyed a change of fortune. He roared up in a bright sports car, he wore a new tweed coat and a clean waistcoat, his shoes shone, his face was plumper and better shaved, his hair was tidy, and he had a brand new monocle with a fine sparkle to it. He carried a pair of yellow gloves, and a bulldog puppy leapt at his heels. He looked like the young squire after a good day at the races.

Although Farquharson began by asking him how the devil he had got qualified and when was he going to start a decent job of work, Grimsdyke still seemed to imagine himself the favourite nephew. Only when his uncle’s conversation had been reduced to a string of grunts he suggested the pair of us went out to the Four Horseshoes.

‘The market seems to be doing well of late,’ I observed, as we entered the bar.

‘The market? Oh, yes, yes, of course. It’s buoyant. By the way, I believe there’s a few bob I owe you. Care for it now? Don’t mind taking fivers, do you, it’s all I’ve got? Cigarette – I suppose you like these black Russian things? Now let’s have a drink. What can I get you?’

‘A pint of bitter.’

‘Beer? Nonsense! We’ll have champagne! This is an occasion – the beginning of a great medical partnership. You know, Banting and Best, Florey and Fleming, Orth and Pettenkofer, and all that.

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